Blasphemy

  I was certain the waves were laughing at me  and baiting their time until my psyche broke.  Too bad for them I don't crack so easily.  With the sun as my guardian, and the moon as my shepherd.  Quit falling for the same plays. Doesn't it get old?  

Maybe if you never cared I would be ok Maybe if you held my I hand I would be ok  Maybe if you let me be myself I wouldn’t want to die And never want to cry But it seems like that isn’t the case Two lovers that have never found their place It seems like such a common theme But to me it seems like such an amazing dream Maybe If I could fall in love I’d be ok  I’ll find that out maybe later today

The edges of one to a plenty are pressed upon the leaf  For the leaf is understanding for it is one of many  Like-minded individuals with the pain ‘pon its chest  Leaving it breathless and holding nothing left  I believe I am a leaf  I say this though and through  To understand me is to understand them all  And the heights that they pursue

The difference between emptiness and a void is this. You can always fill the emptiness with something. Whilst when in the presence of a void everything is destroyed. Everything... I made the foolish mistake of putting a void in my desolate soul. Now I am amid the greatest battle of my life because I refuse to be consumed and it yearns for every fiber of my existence.

It's time to make melodies Negro, please I'm a pawn to this liquor of infatuation it seems to be To me That life is a miraculous art But every second is a moment that it picks apart It reminds me that I ain't shit It reminds me that I haven't found it It reminds me that no matter what I do I'll still be crying about shit that happened years ago  Mixed in with what I got now... I'll drink that cocktail slow

I remember all the things we shared. From the laughs to the games and my facial hair. And from my memory, the only thing you’d send to me was the actuality of my happiness that filled the air.  It was your casual, everyday type of love affair. This is why I always miss you because you're never there. Maybe if you took into consideration my own fucking frustrations, you’d settle down and find time to really care.  But since you don’t I’ll always be stuck in this damn despair. All I needed was a father figure and some child care. You forced a man in me when I was extremely unprepared.   And every day since you decided to go I’ve been living in a nightmare. And when I needed you the most you decided to leave me crying in the night air. But I still love you and my heart is right there.  So could you please care about my life right here? And let all my tears float away in the atmosphere. I’m sorry dad that I’m beginning to sound quite queer. But I hope I can make everyth...

  I do not understand wanting. Desires are so repugnant I would rather consume cow shit than have any form of a desperate need for anything at all. Desires are falsified necessities meant to drive one to madness. Why bother with such forceful sorrow when one could simply acknowledge the winsomeness of necessity and presence. As ignorant as I may sound, I’d rather use that bliss as fuel instead of the ladder. 

Life presented itself in my past It was hard at first but now it has passed  Does this mean that the pain will not last  I don’t know for I am young and blessed  Pushing past fear is my choice of test And I'll finally pass when I see my best In awe

BLASPHEMY Written By: Douglas Thomas Welcome to the start of the novel. My name is Douglas Ishmael Thomas. I have lived twenty one years, and in those years I have been molded into a man of many creative faucets I have utilized and expressed myself in almost every medium possible, but writing is where I feel the warmest. It allows me to dwell deeper into emotions than other means, while still allowing anyone who absorbs it a freer channel of comprehension. Blasphemy is me in my rawest form. Every style of writing will be present because I do not believe in limitations for myself. My philosophies, emotions, and basic thoughts will be presented in such a rapidly straightforward manor most will find it to be quite...blasphemous. Special Thanks to the lights of my life. I couldn't have achieved anything without you two and your sacrifices. This is for you guys. For Nana & Andrea.